I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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