Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize