I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He passed out mid-signature
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
