he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
