The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
