I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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