called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize