Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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