We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
