You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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