Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
