youre lurking in front of me
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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