Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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