He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
