I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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