belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
