Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
