he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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