I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
