if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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