I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize