When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
