i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
