No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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