she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
