Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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