she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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