her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
