You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
