I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize
