wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
This is my life. Enjoy the view
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
