mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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