we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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