spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
