Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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