I don't think brook has ever known best
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
