I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
