Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
