She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
they need to just BURY HIM!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
