last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
