The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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