he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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