I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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