I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
