doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
no, he came in my armpit
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
