Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
