i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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