brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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