you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
