Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
