No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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