yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Farmville is her only friend.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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