The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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