I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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