i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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