your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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