all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize