she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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