Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
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