I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
