They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
