you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
